Amazed

I freely admit here that I tend to be a pessimist. I don’t want to be, but I guess it just comes from feeling more safety in being ready for the worst to happen instead of trusting in the best. My husband on the other hand, tends to be an optimist. (I guess in a good way we balance each other out!) He goes on in life with the perspective of “why worry about things you can’t control” and it drives me batty.

All that to say, the last couple of weeks have been a true picture of just trusting and expecting the good. It all started with the call to interview at my new school. It is a school that I truly never expected to get into from the get go. I chatted with the principal last week and was still just in awe of it all. He used the phrase “we are a special ed friendly school,” and for a person who has been in a bunch of special ed positions in the last 12 years, it seemed to be magic in my ears. Then we found out the rooster could attend with me. So, I’m sitting then with the prospect of not only teaching in a very good school, but also being able to have my little man be privy to the education and level of parental involvement that is there.

Then there was the question of my little chick…what to do with her? The center that Rooster had been out was full. We looked around, prayed, looked around etc and the last place we visited I walked through in awe. It was absolutely perfect and they had a spot for her and would prorate the first month for us as we stagger her starting there.

So last Thursday as I wandered through this crazy day of all these amazing things falling into place; I asked myself “why am I so shocked that all of this is happening?” “Why am I so quick to expect life to fall apart?”

And the answer was: it’s easier that way. It’s easier to expect the worse. It’s easier to expect that the bottom is going to fall out or something won’t pan out the way it “should”.

I know it’s going to tiring the next few months as we all transition, I know that it is teaching again and no matter how “perfect” the school there is still the politics of staff and parents and children. I know that there are many things that will pop up in the coming months that will make me shed many tears, but the last few weeks have taught me to trust and have faith. To know that in the end, whether showered with amazing blessings or showered with hardships, I serve a wonderful and most awesome God…and He does provide as He sees fit and often beyond anything we could dream up for ourselves.

*now if He could make the  -very whiney- little chick fall asleep I would be really blessed!

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2 thoughts on “Amazed

  1. Wow! Super excited for you and this new path!!! I love how He is orchestrating everything to His perfection and you are allowing it all to unfold! A beautiful picture!
    Again, since we were separated at birth, your words spoke to my heart. Yes to always being the negative thinker! Yes, to it being the easier way…that way I will already expect the worst so if it happens I will be prepared. I think that the truth is that I can never be fully prepared for all that He has for me from His lavish love to His being willing to walk with me through the incredibly hard things that come.
    I am excited to watch and see all that He has for you in the next few months!!! Thank you for your words! He has used them in my heart today!

  2. Trust.
    Faith.

    Why is it that they are so easy to have and yet so hard to keep?

    God’s gotta a hold of you on this one. His timing is all apparent. Just coast and hang on to his bumper.

    From afar I will read with the anticipation of great things, hard things, happy things from your coop.

    .mac 🙂

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